16. Always we begin again -
On invented complications and the work of humble simplicity and flowers.
I love to make things complicated.
It is a habit.
I will almost always add steps to any process.
I pile up expectations and shoulds in my head before taking any action.
From the simple (scrolling for thirty minutes before picking a movie to watch) to the sublime (reading books about praying instead of simply sitting down to pray), I will complicate every process and situation until I am frozen or trapped in analysis paralysis.
In the two major schools of my life, the Christian spiritual tradition and the 12-step recovery world, much emphasis is given to humility and simplicity - to a straightforward focus on what is right in front of you in the real world.
St. Benedict, the founder of Christian monasticism, wrote in his Rule, “Always we begin again.”
Bill W., the co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, used short slogans to teach the principles of the program with two of the he most famous being, “One day at a time” and “Keep it simple”.
I have to hear these messages over and over again because I obscure their truth with my own imagination.
I want the solution to my problem to be more complicated than it often is. What I am really looking for is an excuse to not take action. I am inventing reasons I couldn’t possibly do the one, simple thing I need to do.
I am convinced that what I am looking for is somewhere else in some new book or new town or new job or new version of myself.
We are called to humility - to accept ourselves for what we are and accept that God is loving us into being in this and every moment just as it is.
Thomas Merton said this beautifully if a little more opaquely than St. Benny or Bill W.:
“Life is this simple. We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent, and God is shining through all the time. This is not just a fable or a nice story. It is true. If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, we see it sometimes, and we see it maybe frequently. God shows Himself everywhere, in everything – in people and in things and in nature and in events. It becomes very obvious that God is everywhere and in everything and we cannot be without Him. It’s impossible. The only thing is we don’t see it.”
This week’s poem is a short reflection on humility and simplicity.
Dear reader, you can make it as simple or complicated as you would like.
16. Always we begin again - Always we begin again - Benedict was right, though I want to be born again once and for all. Some date on the calendar when I overcame myself. Bill W. told us to keep it simple one day at a time though I’d prefer to wake up one day to find my problems gone so I can coast on. (An impossible hope.) Humility is the only way to freedom though it doesn’t make the headlines and it certainly won’t pay the bills or change the world unless change means death and resurrection. There are always more books to read, more how-tos than stars. There is always more to do and more to learn. Meanwhile, the hydrangea on the deck is teaching the next right thing by blooming purple, paper-thin flowers that stretch wide to infinity and another new beginning.